Dday was pretty bad, I have no suitable adjective to describe it. It was as if the air was sucked out of my lungs; my heart stopped beating; my world shattered. The shock and confusion giving way to searing pain and sobbing.
What was worse than that day was that after I confronted my husband and he denied but eventually admitted, was that he didn’t seem to care enough. I look back on it now at it all seemed so … shallow… As if it was a game to him. He was so reluctant about everything. Reluctant to give me any info, reluctant to give me any promises and any ….well comfort. He simply carried on the affair. As if I didnt matter at all.
Then, when we seperated after I had asked him to out, he would come over to the house and sit on the couch looking lost and miserable. He missed the kids and I apparently. However he would leave and go right back to his girlfriend.
After a year, he begged and pleaded and swore he had changed. He seemed broken. I agreed to a second chance. After I insisted over and over again, he finally wrote an email to his girlfriend ending the relationship and all contact. Her reaction was … Seemed staged and strange but I pushed the thought away determined to give my marriage another chance.
But something didn’t feel right. Ofcourse because they resumed contact pretty much immediately and I found an email where he backtracked on everything he had written in the original email.
I said I was done. I had had enough. He agreed to move back out. But he hasn’t.
He continues to maintain that he hasn’t contacted her since that last email. But we both recently celebrated our birthday, in the back of his car I find a card….from her to him… Signed ‘your lady.’
Since he won’t leave, I will. But with kids and no funds – I’ve got to come up with a plan.
Whats worse than Dday is knowing that someone who claims to love you can look you dead in the eye and lie over and over again.
whats worse than Dday is knowing that he cares more about himself than any pain he is causing me.
Whats worse than Dday is realising that I gave him all I had and now I’m stuck.