Happy Anniversary to me

Its my 7th wedding anniversary today and as expected it’s been rough. I have cycled through anger, sadness, distress, regret, irritability all before 9am. Husband has made himself scarce, keeping to different parts of the house, but even that has annoyed me, he would rather run and hide and sheild himself from any negativity even though he is the cause of my pain. Then again if he hung around and tried to talk to me would that make me feel any better? Probably not. Who knows. But he is walking around looking like a wounded animal – because he is always the victim.

So as usually I deal with my pain, alone.

Last year, we were seperated, and he was seeing his girlfriend.

The year before that I was pregnant – Dday had been just two weeks before. He made a speech about us fighting for our marriage, but he was still having an affair.

I’m so tired.

10 thoughts on “Happy Anniversary to me”

  1. Of course you are tired. It is a dreadful and shitty reality, being a betrayed. Even more so being a betrayed in limbo, and still being manipulated. I hope that today you will find a way to take a step, a tiny step, for yourself. To go somewhere you want to go (the library, a coffee/tea shop, a market) and think of YOU.
    For me, it has been really important to my healing that I allow myself to experience the emotions authentically – which you cannot do with your H – Do you have someone you can really share with? I’ve only been able to with other women who have shared this journey. Even people who want to care just don’t get it – the pain, the emotional roller coaster, the indecision.
    Thinking of you today. And hoping for the best. Big hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you SS. This limbo is the worst but I’m working on it, I start a new job in a few days, although husband agreed to leave, he hasn’t yet but I’m giving myself options instead of waiting on him, which is far more empowering for me

      Liked by 1 person

  2. All of my clients describe feeling emotionally, mentally and physically tired…fatigued. Mental abuse is draining.
    Sleep deprivation is terrible for your body and your brain….memory, executive function.

    The constant mental manipulative games is tiring and draining.

    I hope you can gain back your stregth.
    Peace and healing,

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It really is so tiring, I fee like my brain is never switched off, always wondering, processing, trying to work things out, seperate fact from the lies….but working on getting back some strength and peace. Xxx


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