What is there to say…..

I know I shouldn’t ….because whenever I do I always find something….but I did. I went through husbands iPad. He has recently downloaded an ebook called ‘Bang: The pick up bible’. This book is apparently the most infamous pick up book in the world.

What does one do when you have cheated on your wife and she wants to leave you and your actions is ripping your family apart? Work on your pick up game ofcourse!

I mean really…..what else is there to say about this man? Feel free to sound off in the comments!

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I can’t believe he said that#3

So I had a whole different post planned for tonight but I will post that later. Tonight, husband is trying to be sweet to me because he’s hoping to get lucky. When I refuse he tells me that I’m withholding sex as a form of punishment??!! The same way we punish our children by taking things away when they misbehave. I told him that if that’s how he sees the situation then I know for sure he doesn’t get it – AT ALL. Doesn’t get the pain at all, not even a little bit.

Husband, I don’t want to have sex with you because you cheated and lied and are still seeing your girlfriend and are still lying to me. You broke my heart and my trust.  I can’t trust you AT ALL – never again.

Me taking the iPad away from a 5 year old for back talking is TOTALLY NOT the same as ‘withholding’ sex because my husband cheated. Not even close.

And when I post an update on the last couple of days, you will see why this comment is even more ridiculous.

Foreboding?

image Three days until my 7th wedding anniversary ….and I feel a weird foreboding. Maybe just anxiety, anticipating sadness? I dunno. I was hoping to try and forget about it, hoping the day would somehow go unnoticed, hoping husband doesn’t remember but he does. ‘Want to do something to celebrate?’ He asked me. No. What would we be celebrating exactly?

Ughhh

Apologies for the weird, short, rambly post. Sometimes you just have to get it out ya know?

Anxiety my good ‘ol trusty friend

So, I’ve managed to line up two job interviews this week for some part time work which is great!

Then…..the anxiety sets in and the worry begins. How will I do in the interviews? What hours shall I accept, how much will I have to pay for childcare? Etc etc… It’s never ending. Sigh.

I met up with my friend last week and she thinks I shouldn’t leave the house as she’s worried it will be very difficult for me, renting with 3 kids will be very expensive. I know all this and it would be much much easier if husband leaves – especially for the kids, but I can’t help but dream about starting afresh without husband having such easy access to me. Beside he will help towards the rent as he would like his kids to be comfortable. But maybe I’m being too optimistic, my friend reminded me that people tend to be less cooperative when they’re not getting their way. This is why I need a job so I’m not too reliant on him. I also have a small business I’ve started but need to invest a little bit more money into it before I can start making money! Everything seems like such a catch 22 at the moment.

The ‘I can’t believe he said or did that ‘ files. #1

Sometimes out of nowhere I’ll have a memory about something husband has done or said that is totally dumb, insensitive, cruel or out of order. Then the anger inside me builds and quite frankly I can’t actually believe that I haven’t caused him grevious bodily harm or poisoned his food by now.

So I thought it far more constructive to put it into a post, so here goes.

#1

When we were in false reconciliation and in middle of being intimate, husband broached the topic of having a threesome. I went along thinking it was just dirty talk until I realised he was serious. Then he said he had someone in mind…..yes you guessed it. The BLOODY WOMAN HE HAD AN AFFAIR WITH!

Yes.

He actually went there.

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